


Kyle Ron and Other Aliases

by ladyemmaline



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux (Mentioned) - Freeform, F/M, Gen, It’s Ben Organa not Ben Solo, Poe Dameron (Mentioned) - Freeform, chat fic, i will die on this hill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyemmaline/pseuds/ladyemmaline
Summary: Five (plus one) worlds where Ben Organa/Solo went by Kylo Ren and it was still better than turning to the Dark Side and committing mass murder.





	Kyle Ron and Other Aliases

****1\. Porn Star** **

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINN

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINNNNN

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINMN HELP

**FN-2187:** r u ok?????

**Rey of Sunshine:** MY EYES FINNNNN MY POOR EYES

**FN-2187:** what the kriff r u talking abuot?

**Rey of Sunshine:** FIN I CAN NEVER UNSEE THIS

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINN I WORK WITH HIS UNCLE

**Rey of Sunshine:** OH GOD I HAD DINNER WITH HIS PARENTS

**FN-2187:** if ur not dying I’m turning my phone off 

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINN

_Link Shared:_ [ http://dailym.ai/2xxi3m3](http://dailym.ai/2xxi3m3)

**FN-2187:** …

**FN-2187:** is that

**FN-2187:** NO

**FN-2187:** force save us

**FN-2187:** brb I’m gonna show this to Poe

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINNM YOU CAN’T 

**Rey of Sunshine:** HOW COULD YOU DO THA TO HIM

**Rey of Sunshine:** FINNN HE’S BEEN IN FOURTEEN HOLO-PORNS

**Rey of Sunshine:** FOURTEEN

**FN-2187:** back. Poe fell off the couch laughing but he’s ok

**FN-2187:** wait 14????

**Rey of Sunshine:** 14!!!!

**FN-2187:** is… is he using his real name?

**Rey of Sunshine:** let me check

**Rey of Sunshine:** no

**Rey of Sunshine:** thank the force

**Rey of Sunshine:** his… stage name? is “Kylo Ren”

_ Link Shared:  _ “Hung Like A Bantha”

**FN-2187:** you can’t make me click that

_ Link Shared: _ “Hung Like A Bantha 2: Rancor Madness”

_ Link Shared: _ “Hung Like a Bantha 4: Origins”

_ Link Shared: _ “Naboob” 

_ Link Shared: _ “KiffeXXX”

**FN-2187:** no “Hung Like A Bantha 3”?

**Rey of Sunshine:** he wasn’t in that one

**FN-2187:** also, “Kylo Ren”?

**Rey of Sunshine:** yup

**FN-2187:** that feels… too long for a good porn name, you know? liek are you screaming KYLO REN every time?? seems annoying

**Rey of Sunshine:** do you think just Kylo? or just Ren

_ Link Shared: _ “Tibanna Ass Mines VII” 

**FN-2187:** ew

**Rey of Sunshine:** foRCE SAVE US

**Rey of Sunshine:** HE WON AN AWARD FOR THAT ONE

**FN-2187:** NO

**Rey of Sunshine:** YES

_Link Shared:_ [ http://bit.ly/2g0jLpC](http://bit.ly/2g0jLpC)

**Rey of Sunshine:** feast ur eyes on “Human Male Performer of the Year”

**FN-2187:** well

**FN-2187:** at least he’s good at it?

**Rey of Sunshine:** finn

**Rey of Sunshine:** That is NOT THE POINT, FINN

**Rey of Sunshine:** HAN AND LEIA HAVE PHOTOS OF HIM IN THEIR HOUSE. NEXT TIME I GO THERE FOR DINNER I WILL HAVE TO LOOK AT HIS FACE IN THE KITCHEN. 

**Rey of Sunshine:** I AM GOING TO DIE FINN

**Rey of Sunshine:** IA M GOING TO DIE IN FROMT OF MY BOSS AD HIS SISTER 

**Rey of Sunshine:** BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN BEN ORGANA’S DICK AND HIS PARENTS DON’T KNOW HE’S A KRIFFING PORN STAR

**FN-2187:** wait a second

**FN-2187:** did you watch the whole kriffing holo???

**FN-2187:** (the whole kriffing-holo, lol)

**Rey of Sunshine:** … not ALL of it

**FN-2187:** rey

**FN-2187:** rey no

**FN-2187:** oh force

**FN-2187:** I have good news and I have bad news

**FN-2187:** the good news is you don’t have to worry about keeping this secret!

**FN-2187:** the bad news is it’s because I’m pretty sure his parents already know

_Link Shared:_ [ http://bit.ly/2gu4eiz](http://bit.ly/2gu4eiz)

**FN-2187:** … that’s from the red carpet of the awards show

**Rey of Sunshine:** KRIFFING SITH

**Rey of Sunshine:** THEY BROUGHT LEIA’S VORNSKYR???

 

* * *

 

 

 

****2\. Drug Dealer** **

It’s not that Rey is on Coruscant  _ looking _ for Han and Leia’s deadbeat son. She’s on Coruscant because some kriffing ghosts told Luke that there were some important holodisks that had escaped the Imperial purge hidden somewhere in the city. Or because he need a banthashit excuse to get her off planet so he could have “five minutes peace, Leia, she’s driving me up the wall.”

Anyway, she’s not looking for Ben Organa; that doesn’t mean she doesn’t find him.

At first, she thought that Leia was there: there’s the same feeling of ozone in the air, the same sense of energy crackling inside a glass ball without making it to the outside air. Whoever was in the bar with her wasn’t exactly Force sensitive, but they were on the cusp and it made Rey’s palms itch. The next thing she notices, oddly, are the ears. The man leaning against the wall on the other side of the bar is clearly trying to dress cool; between the duster-length leather vest, the sleeveless black top, and the hair swept up in the same fauxhawk style that she had seen in Poe’s magazines before she came to Coruscant, he blends in with the too-cool vibe of this too-expensive bar, except… the weird hairstyle leaves his ears exposed and they’re really big. In fact, they look familiar. 

Kriffing Sith. Under the thick lines of eyeliner and the weird piercings, Rey realizes, she’s looking at Ben Organa, erstwhile disappointment to her teacher and his weird family and apparently patron of the “Sian’s Saber” bar. 

“Lady, I don’t want to stick my noses where they’re not wanted, but you could do better.” Rey jumps a little; she didn’t noticed the bartender sidling up next to her. “You want another?” They gesture to the now-empty glass of lum ale in front of her. 

She shrugs. “Why not?” As he starts pouring her drink, she asks, as nonchalantly as she can, “Who’s the kriffer by the wall?” 

The bartender snorts. “Like I said, sister, you could do better. He hangs out here a lot. ’s kind of a creep. Calls himself something stupid. Kale… Kyle… Kylo? Kylo Ren, I think.” 

Rey snickers. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll steer clear.” 

As the bartender moves to another section of the bar, Rey sneaks another peek at Ben Organa. He catches her eye and walks over to her. Before Rey can decide whether to run and hide in the fresher or just throw herself over the bar, he leans against the bar next to her and extends a hand. 

"You wanna buy some death sticks?"

Rey panics and settles on a course of action that is neither entirely sensible nor entirely ethical. As her eyes dart between the death sticks in Ben Organa’s hand and the slightly furtive, too-cool expression on his face, Rey grabs hold of the Force in her mind and  _ pushes _ . 

"You don't want to sell me death sticks."

As Rey concentrates, she sees Ben Organa’s eyes narrow and then relax, going ever so slightly blank. He repeats smoothly, "I don't wanna sell you death sticks."

In for a cred, in for a crystal: she pushes a little harder. "You want to go home and rethink your life."

Ben Organa stares back at her and nods. "I wanna go home and rethink my life." Still looking a little blank, he stands up and walks purposefully out of the bar. 

Rey holds her breath for a few seconds as she feels him leave the immediate range of her sensitivity to the Force. When he doesn’t storm back into the bar, she sighs with relief and catches the bartender’s eye. “One more for the road?” The bartender nods and, after a few moments, gives her another lum ale. She slides some credits across the table. “Thanks for the good advice.”

Rey downs the drink and pushes back from the bar. It’s time to follow some Force ghosts.

 

* * *

 

****3\. Conspiracy Space-Youtuber** **

**Description of video on Space-Youtube**

**Title:** ALDERAAN DESTRUCTION: JEDI FALSE FLAG?

**Poster:** The Knights of Ren

**Upvotes:** 200.9k 

**Downvotes:** 280.4m

**Views:** 1.1b

**Comments:** 65.8k

**Description:** HIT SUBSCRIBE AND SHARE: what the government doesn’t want you to know about Alderaan. JEDI WEAPON RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTRUCTION, EMPIRE ATTEMPTED TO SAVE PLANET. NEW EVIDENCE FOUND!!! Edit: my name is KYLO REN now, STOP COMMENTING SAYING YOU'LL TELL MY MOM ABOUT MY CHANNEL!!!!!

**Other Suggested Videos:** “Senator Organa Disavows Estranged Son’s Views on Fringe Space-Youtube Channel”; “Darth Vader Did Nothing Wrong”; “PROOF: MEDIA  & NEW REPUBLIC GOVERNMENT ARE LYING ABOUT ALDERAAN” “10 Funniest Chewbacca Quotes”

 

* * *

  

****4\. Emo Garage-Band** **

“Whatever happened to good ol’ jizz music?” Chewbacca moans. 

“Em’o is  _ the future _ of music, Uncle Chewie!” Ben replies, looking very affronted. 

“Do these bands even use Phindar steel drums anymore?” 

“Ugh, real music doesn’t use Phindar steel drums. You don’t understand!” Ben sighs loudly and walks out of the main cabin of the Falcon. Han and Chewie wince as they hear him slam his hand on the button that opens to the doors to his room; Leia stares serenely ahead. After a few seconds, Chewie’s hand reaches over and switches the music on the jizz-box from Panic! At the Cantina to Bruce Spacesteen and they sigh in unison. 

Ben’s band is called Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren. When Chewie points out that it should be Kylo and the Knights of Ren or Kylo Ren and the Knights or even Kylo and the Rens, Ben sulks in his room for two straight days, so they carefully do not mention anything else about the name. The posters that Ben painstakingly designs using space-photoshop include a lot of black, a lot of red, and a number of symbols that are close enough to Sith imagery that they make Luke go a little pale. Ben says that’s the point,  _ man _ . Luke says that it’s disrespectful. Ben says that the  _ point _ of Em’o music is to be disrespectful to the  _ system _ . Luke storms out of the house and sends Leia a postcard two weeks later from a planet filled with archipelagos.

It could be worse, Han reminds Leia after the third straight hour of wailing theremins. Leia didn’t even know theremins  _ could _ wail. This time last year ago Ben had been showing a worrying fascination with old Empire holodramas; at least this activity gets him out of the house, even if it’s for weeks at a time to follow “Warp Drive Tour” from planet to planet. Even if it means that creepy ginger kid is constantly at their house for what Ben maintains firmly are practices, well, maybe the kid’s a good influence on him. Or Ben’s a good influence on the kid? It would be difficult for them to make each other worse, anyway, and Han has learned to take his victories where he can get them. Ben seems entertained and to Han that’s worth some awkward conversations with Brendol Hux’s son and some soundproofing for the basement. Anyway, the other member of the band seems nice. Han’s not sure what Phasma looks like under their shiny helmet but they play a mean synth drumkit and keep quiet otherwise; Han respects that in a friend. He’s never had a friend who knew when to shut the kriff up, he reflects, but he imagines it would be pleasant.  

Leia can thank the Force for the small mercies: at least Ben’s voice isn’t bad. She had never enjoyed the singing lessons that her parents had briefly required of her as a child and as far as she knew Han had never sung anything but disgusting smuggler shanties, but Ben can carry a tune. It’s the lyrics, she muses, that are really the problem. She can hear Ben practicing another song in his room.

> “My heart is black/like space is black/like the dark is black/where there’s no light”

Leia presses the back of her hand against her mouth. She had complained incessantly about how boring deportment lessons were as a child but she thanked her ability to keep a straight face every single day.

 

* * *

 

**5\. Politician**

Entry: New Republic Senate Campaign Ad Archive

#  **Kylo Ren: The Knights of Ren's Argument for the New Republic**

####  **AIR DATE**

###  **Galactic Senate Election, 33 ABY**

####  **WHO PAID FOR IT**

###  **Make the New Republic Great Again PAC**

_ Voiceover, Senate candidate Kylo Ren (né Ben Organa), Knights of Ren Party _ : Our movement is about replacing a failed and corrupt political establishment with a new government controlled by you, the people of the New Republic. The establishment has trillions of credits at stake in this election. For those who control the levers of power in Hosnian Prime and for the intergalactic special interests, they partner with these people that don't have your good in mind. The political establishment, that is trying to stop us, is the same group responsible for our disastrous trade deals, massive immigration of non-human citizens, and economic and humanitarian policies that have bled our Republic dry. The political establishment has brought about the destruction of our factories and our jobs as they flee to the Outer Rim. It's an intergalactic power structure that is responsible for the economic decisions that have robbed our working class, stripped our planets of their wealth, and put that money into the pockets of a handful of large syndicates and political entities. The only thing that can stop this corrupt machine is you. The only force strong enough to save our galaxy is us. The only people brave enough to vote out this corrupt establishment is you, the people of the New Republic. I'm doing this for the people and for the movement and we will take back this country for you and we will make the New Republic great again.

 

* * *

 

**+1. Smuggler in the family business**

“Put your hands up! Turn around slowly”

The two men and the Wookie turn to face the guard, hands held above their heads. One of them still has a small sack of powdered chak root in one hand. 

“None of you are supposed to be in this sector of the spaceport. State your names!”

The younger of the two men smirks. “There’s a name you might know me by,” the man pauses dramatically and then continues, “Kylo Ren.”

“Who?”

The older man barks out a laugh and the younger man flushes a little. “Kylo Ren, man! The legendary outlaw?”

“I’m telling you Ben, it’s not going to catch on.”

“Dad, I told you not to call me that when we’re on a job!”

The Wookie in the corner gives out a loud trill. 

“Shut up, Uncle Chewie!”

The younger man’s cheeks are bright red now and the way he’s sulking makes him look about fifteen. 

“Look, whatever your name is, you’re coming with me. No one smuggles through Hutt space without paying the price”

The older man laughs again. “Trust me kid, this family can do whatever we want to in Hutt space. Show the man, Ben.”

The younger man, Ben, looks sideways at him. The older man sighs. “Show the man,  _ Kylo _ .” 

“ _ Thank you. _ ” Kylo says, turning back to the guard. “Can I move my arms? I have to pull up my sleeve.” 

The guard gestures with the blaster. “Get on with it.”

Slowly, Kylo lowers his arm and pulls up his right sleeve above his elbow. Wrapped around his forearm is a tattoo of golden chains, broken in one spot. In between the broken links is a word in Aurebesh topped with a crown.

“ _ Huttslayer _ ?” 

“The Huttslayer’s his mom. Call him Ben.” And in one motion the older man draws his blaster and stuns the guard, who falls to the floor senseless. 

“ _ Kylo Ren,  _ dad!” 

“Whatever you say, kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to ppyajunebug and bastardsnow for the delightful porn titles and the term "Em'o." Credit to George Lucas for both "jizz music" and "jizz-box": I'll see you in hell, George. Credit for the text of the campaign video in part five goes to Donald Trump, because I used one of his campaign videos and just changed all the nouns. Fic in loving memory of Elan Sleazbaggano, the best Star Wars character.


End file.
